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By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. Because they'll never meet. Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. He's all right now. Just because you didnt ask doesnt mean you didnt need to be told. Two guys walk into a bar. In many cases, these and the previously-suggested formulas are no more than conversational fillers; the direct approach of just asking the question you want to ask often is a better thing to do. Whos there? This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. Halfway. They did unspeakable things to me. Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". I cant wait to see her face light up when she opens it. 86 Funny Why Did The. Thats the church I used to go to.. Just ask a question: Why did?, What do you call? Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. 7. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. Making it very clear that the question asker was being rude. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! 11. Not all men are annoying. Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke. Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like theres no tomorrow? If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . We dont serve your type.. According to Mason, expose them to as much as possible and that includes jokes. Looking for some laughs today? A slipper. 5. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker I can totally keep secrets. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. Here's the URL for this Tweet. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". It was two tired. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and cola.". 32. Apple Jokes. 5. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife. Whos there? Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Sharing is caring! Theres nothing worse than someone asking you a question and then responding with, who asked you?. 64 What Did The. The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news.". 42. Here are some witty comebacks to Did I ask?: The best response to did I ask is to remain calm and try not to overreact. Because it was a little horse. If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=04ef7e29-9d17-4b08-9125-4799a7bfa254&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=5550025151585253118'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? There's a time and a place for well-crafted, sophisticated, complex jokes that you have to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. Explanation: By themselves, the musical notes C, E-flat, and G are simply tones, neither major nor minor. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. Once. 8. Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + . My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. Where you put the cucumber. Youd better be. If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? A little horse. When did I ask. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Because they're very good at it. Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. Fuck you said. Between you and me, something smells. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? When I see ads on TV featuring smiley housewives using some new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds theyreclearlyon. Hey, havent we metaphor? That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? No, you didnt, but we all make mistakes. Why do bees have sticky hair? How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? When When When When When When When. There were two goldfish in a tank. Person 2: Who's there? What do you call it when Batman skips church? For more information, please see our Why did God give men penises? if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { What's black and white and goes round and round? A dick in your mouth! Copy it to easily share with friends. If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. (stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). All Rights Reserved. . If they ask, "Who asked?" Three guys go on a ski trip together. Whats the best part about gardening? What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? Virgin Mobile, Boy: Want to hear a joke about my dick? Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. A submarine. When they get to the ski lodge there arent enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. Why do we like volcanoes? Do you want to hear a construction joke? We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. Sorry, I'm still working on it. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? Knock knock. Red paint. Knock knock. Why did the pony have to gargle? It was two tired. Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). The husband, surprised, pulls his out. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. I decided to start smoking only after sex. Good luck. They have many fans. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. Carol Yepes/ Getty Images. Did you hear the one about the roof? Once a girl looked at me and shouted loudly, I don't want to sit next to her! It is a pretty rude thing to say. when did i ask jokes 26.2M viewsDiscover short videos related to when did i ask jokes on TikTok. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. Because they cantaloupe. #challenge #experiment What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Broomates. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Love means nothing to them. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Ask Google Assistant to go to a site in the Chrome app. Its the people I tell them to who cant. 14. Why did the chicken cross the road? (Walk. How can you tell its a dogwood tree? Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? 100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time. I guess it's just not in the cards for me. 21. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. No, the punchline comes before the setup when time travel is involved. 3. That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. What did the left eye say to the right eye? document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { Control Freak. "Make me one with everything.". Because theyre used to eating nuts. Explanation: No joke has a double meaning here. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. Have fun with some of these. Ivana fuck your brains out. Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? Kid 1: Hey, I bet youre still a virgin., When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper You did this.. Why did the cow jump over the moon? You come across as a person who has low self-esteem and is embarrassed to ask anybody for anything, for the fear of being refused or rejected again and again, so I did it on my own and to stop you from becoming a spectacle. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? 69 with three people watching. To Who? A trip without kids. With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. A bear walks into a restaurant. Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Earbuds. "Ouch! Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Why is England the wettest country? I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. We suppose you belong to those daredevils. The pupils they dilate. 39. 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes that will make you laugh Make your friends and family cringe with these god-awful jokes By Finlay Greig 17th Jun 2020,. "That . 1. After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? Why do geese fly south in the winter? If only theyd come around andtake him off my hands. You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. 20 History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At. I know because they told me. Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? Banana Jokes. An impasta. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. This worked so well! This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. By the bark. What did the left eye say to the right eye? This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" Theyre used to eating nuts. Share the best GIFs now >>> Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? I took a poop in the elevator. Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! Things they would quickly admit are wrong to say, or that they shouldn't have said. Why arent koalas actual bears? When you die, what part of the body dies last? Because they use a honeycomb. Remains to be seen. 35. Hes been going through some shit. What do you get from a pampered cow? Traffic jam. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? My son asked me what its like to be married so I told him to leave me. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Why were they called the Dark Ages? Explanation: Youd have to be insane to jump off a bridge and into the Seine, the river that runs through Paris. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". This one is funny because it seemingly implies that you didnt even realize that they were part of the conversation, making them look dumb and unimportant. A pork chop. A stick. Why was six afraid of seven? A Maybe. What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? One was a-salted. Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? 4. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You're Feeling Snarky By Mlanie Berliet Updated February 10, 2022 1. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Some are dead. Hey! Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family. What did the grape do when it was sat on? There just arent as many people who believe it. Christian Bale. They're his watch dogs. Ouch! When did I ask? Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. Re-Morse code. 1. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? There are twenty of them. 22. You boil the hell out of it. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Why is history like a fruit cake? Learn more about us here. We recommend our users to update the browser. This response works best if the question was asked rudely. Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. Fssh. It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. They went up by a, Two cows are grazing in a field. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. "You look drunk.". 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. A guy will search for a golf ball. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Got a PS5 for my little brother. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. A little horse. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" But that's not all. I don't know, and I don't care. Pilgrims. King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! He worked it out with a pencil. (Think trolls) Your opinion is very important to me. Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. Because the P is silent! 29. What is the opposite of a croissant? In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. 2. But I'm clean now. If they do, we've got more timeless jokes for you. 45. You wait here, I'll go on ahead. Ivana who? Cause your face looks kind of funky. Privacy Policy. Be careful to whom you send these. Wheeeee! Con There's a new alarming warning about this popular dog food brand. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Why are YOU shaking? This is a funny response that puts the focus on the other person. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. What does a pig put on dry skin? 25. Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by. 46. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Then it hit me. A horse walks into a bar. And funny in a way that like, opens your mind up even," says comedian Sean Patton. Why is being in the military like a blow-job? This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. 39. } else { We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A Mississippi. Get out of here! shouts the bartender. Cookie Notice Because, as mentioned above, the question implies that the question asker does not care about what the person they asked it to has to say. What's the best smelling insect? You can negotiate with a terrorist. Discover short videos related to did i ask jokes on TikTok. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . Spoiled milk. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.