The barman says: "Is this some kind of joke? ‘So that’s what heaven is like?’ ‘Oh no,’ says Irv. The barman says: "Oi - get out.

"24 A sandwich walks into a bar. I can help. So this invites a question: what is the funniest joke in the world?This is exactly the question that Wiseman set himself. Humor is a response to inevitable conflict. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.

In it, they say Hitler "just could not match" the humour, demonstrated by him telling the dog's nose joke (in English subtitles).

Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband: "Shut up, you're next. I said: "I can't make Tuesdays.

The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

This is not to say that we are prudes or that there's anything inherently wrong with rude jokes. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.

But my ulterior motive is to collect jokes to tell my 12-year-old son. Here is the winner: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. And there seem to be social, cultural, national, age and gender differences in what we find funny. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. LaughLab initially set up the project in 2002, and 13 years later over 44,000 jokes have …

I'll tell you what, never again. Woof. "2 Went to the zoo.

For research into international humour, see Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.

Back on the phone, the guys says "OK, now what? The operator says "Calm down. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. The best jokes in the world from the likes of Amy Schumer, Tommy Cooper, Dave Chappelle, Trevor Noah and many more. Woof. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!The German version is described as being "over 60,000 times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke"The Germans attempt counter-jokes, but each attempt is found unsuccessful, with unamused Gestapo officers executing the hapless scientists as a consequence. "28 A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their tournament victories. Ja! The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here.

The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. Woke up in the fireplace.21 A jumplead walks into a bar. "39 My phone will ring at 2am and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?"

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He said: "Those are pickled onions. First, let's make sure he's dead." As for the joke that won Wiseman's funniest-in-the-world contest, I hesitate to share it because it's not as interesting as some of his other findings. So for me the interesting question is It's pretty clear that whatever Wiseman came up with, it isn't gonna be the funniest joke in the world. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.40 I said to this train driver: "I want to go to Paris." That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. Funniest Joke in the World NOTE: The 'Funniest Joke in the World' DOES NOT translate into English. British GQ Fashion Culture Grooming Watches GQ Hype Lifestyle She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. Woof.

Guy says no again. The point of an offensive joke is not to offend, but to bring into the open what and why and how easily we are offended.

I say, "I don't know. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park.’A guy dies and is sent to hell. This vinegar's got lumps in it". "But why?" He said: "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. The humor isn't in the joke; it is in the attitudes of those telling and hearing the joke. Maybe it needs to be told. I said: "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin. Woof. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.25 I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. The reception was brilliant.6 Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. Woof. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone. "20 I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she'd popped her clogs.19 I rang up BT. Eventually the joke is contained, weaponized, and deployed against Germa… It’s Irv. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price. I wish my friends were back here.’It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. Best Joke in the world: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. "Yesterday a spokesman for www.OnePoll.com, which carried out the research, said: "Most of these jokes are clean and funny but a lot are pretty subjective. ‘So there is an afterlife!

So Irv dies. There was only one dog in it. Everyone back on your heads!’A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. That's what I bought them for. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What’s it like?’ Sid asks.

‘I’m not in heaven. The Funniest Joke in the World" (also "Joke Warfare" and "Killer Joke") is a Monty Python comedy sketch. ‘Well, I sleep very late.

‘Why? He said: "How flexible are you?" He said: "Not you again. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. "18 "My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. World's funniest joke (so far), submitted by Geoff Anandappa, from Blackpool.