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I realized that this was the first time I had a voice in the synagogue.

In taking upon myself the obligation to say Kaddish, I had unwittingly stepped upon a path that led me to a deeper understanding of so many things.

After stumbling through the Aramaic world of that first, long , I realized that I could actually sit back, rest awhile and finish my coffee in peace. So where does that leave me? every day also allowed me to set aside time for me to be in active relationship with God, day after day, week after week. May the great Name of God be exalted and sanctified, throughout the world, which he has created according to his will.

Interestingly, I am one of those women who actually sings out loud in the synagogue.

The grandson and son-in-law are permitted to say Kaddish only when one of their own parents is deceased, or if their parents agree to his reciting Kaddish while they are living. Your contribution will help us bring you vital news The New York University Silver School of Social WorkTHE SILVER SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK NEW YORK UNIVERSITYThe New York University Silver School of Social Work (SSSW)The New York University Silver School of Social WorkThough my mother’s death was anything but unexpected, when she did breathe her last breath just one month short of 91 years, I had simply not thought about whether I would say Kaddish or not. Among a brother, son-in-law, grandson or father, Kaddish should be said by whoever felt closest to the relative being mourned. However, since Jewish laws of mourning in every other area obligate women in the same way that they obligate men, it follows that women should feel the same duty men feel and recite Kaddish in a synagogue at least once a day. Why do we mark 30 days of mourning, too? Pictures of my mother would come to me unbidden, long lost fragments of memory, smells, words, touch all swirled around me, joining me with my mother for a few precious moments. If children of the deceased are not available to say Kaddish on a relatively consistent basis for the entire period, rather than hire a Kaddish-sayer, some rabbis suggest that relatives and friends divide the responsibility among themselves.Pronounced: KAH-dish, Origin: Hebrew, usually referring to the Mourner’s Kaddish, the Jewish prayer recited in memory of the dead.Pronounced: MIN-yun, meen-YAHN, Origin: Hebrew, quorum of 10 adult Jews (traditionally Jewish men) necessary for reciting many prayers.Pronounced: MISH-nuh, Origin: Hebrew, code of Jewish law compiled in the first centuries of the Common Era. He explains that saying kaddish by a son constitutes a kind of justification of the Divine judgment “ ... (1762-1828), in his book Mateh Ephraim (Laws of the Mourner’s Kaddish; and see his comments, Elef LaMagen ss. I raise my voice, and look around, often in surprise, because most of the other women around me are singing so very softly. It is unfortunate that most people are unaware of this option, so that if they find it impossible to attend services, thinking there is no legitimate substitute they do nothing at all.The recitation of Kaddish for nearly a year is traditionally viewed as an obligation upon the sons of the deceased, not upon the daughters. Every morning I would wake at 6:02, race to dress, grab my espresso and head for the synagogue so as not to miss that first Kaddish at approximately 6:29. Here’s why.Jewish approaches to medical decision-making for the terminally ill.General and Jewish terms you'll want to know at this critical time.What you need to know about Jewish approaches to end-of-life care.The ritual of shiva is well known.

How, I wondered, did somebody who did not say Kaddish, find the time and place to mourn in our crazy, hectic world?Another unexpected feature of saying Kaddish was a sense of personal empowerment in an environment that had long been a place where I did not have a voice. If I am to be honest, and I try to be, many days pass with only minimal prayer. Copyright © 2002-2020 My Jewish Learning. Even in Orthodox synagogues, where women are not counted for the prayer quorum and where they sit separately from men, a woman may recite Kaddish along with the …

I could actually do whatever I wanted to, undisturbed. All Rights Reserved About the Exemption. The loss of a parent makes one at once more vulnerable and more open to new experiences or to changing one’s way of doing things.

She has recently published a book, “My Year of Kaddish: Mourning, Memory and Meaning,” exploring the process of grieving against the backdrop of her personal experience reciting Kaddish.

My relationship to God had become closer and more familiar. Several weeks of feeling pressured to keep up led me to realize that there really was no race after all. How to say the mourners kaddish . Unfortunately, most of these efforts have peaked and then dissolved, leading me back to my tomes of Talmud, as I reassured myself that a good Jewess can express her devotion through Torah study as well.When I found myself saying Kaddish for my mother all that changed. My experience of , not being called to the Torah, and not participating in any significant way in the service has led me to sideline this activity for most of my life.